Today I Was Told To Write A Picture

So I did.

It started as a line on my page, then a parellelogram, then i drew a graduation cap. That image seemed so... It was no longer sad, but not happy either. More sad then happy but not really sad. So then I drew a butterfly. Believe it or not I spent more time on that silly hat with my bad shading.

I signed my name at the bottom.

I drew two faces.

I failed at capturing his face. I have his high cheekbone, but everything else is not... him. For some reason I seemed to capture him better when I was doodling at an MUN conference and he was right next to me.

I drew that symbol with the two hearts. Then I made another attempt at drawing the two people. Still couldn't seem to really capture either of them. So I drew a small heart.

That made it that much better.

I drew a penguin.

Will you be my penguin Ryan Scott Wassenaar? Will you and I be mates for life like penguins do?

(unless something terrible should happen like like... an orca? What hunts penguins?)

I drew a california roll, because I was thinking of our first date. I would have drawn wasabi but it would have turned out like a lump of who knows what.

Beside it it in japanese translates to sushi oishii desu in hiragana. Sushi is delicious.

Finally in the bottom left hand corner, in katakana (because they aren't japanese words but rather english) I put ai rufu yu. In japanese the R sound is more like an L. Say it outloud? I lufu you. Close enough right?

I'm sorry but yes I did call last night.

His father picked up the phone. Oh me oh my was that a shock to me. Especially since after once ring i hear something about sailing and immediately my mind flashed to being submerged underwater and gasping for air. Old fear arisen from what I hope was meant to be just a little joke, or greeting. Or something of that nature.

When I was younger I took swimming lessons, one day I somehow had the energy to swim the length of an olympic pool. Keep in mind I was 5. The next day in the attempt to repeat the feat I tried again. A bit over two thirds through the lap I was too tired to continue and started to drown

Had a nice little chat, talked about their schedule, and wished them a good trip
I look at my emails and there is one from him. Telling me that today I should let my family know I love them. Tensions are high, so I washed the dishes. A small act and one they always tell me to do anyway. I think I didnt' succeed yesterday.

Today he said thank you for his graduation gift. And during a day dream I imagined him holding each of the little birds in his hands and letting them fly away. Who knows what he will really do. Says he loves me, misses me, and at the moment he is suffering either on the plane or in a car. It makes me laugh and smile. It's like the notes I wrote for him while I was away at davis, freshman year. Ah it was just so wonderfully sweet. I miss him. I started to tear up several times today thinking of him. I also located my tear ducts today. Are there only one for each eye? Is it Are or Is? I'm confused...

It's hard not to cheat and read ahead... He sent sunday twice. And he only got up to monday.

I washed my sheets today. They are clean. TJ also got a bath, he is clean and fluffier then before.

I felt bad though putting him through the washing machine THEN the dryer... I know that's silly.

I can't stop thinking about him. I love him. And that was what was on my mind today, I'm sorry if that bores you. To me, it makes up a very significant portion of my world. He is a very significant part in my life.