Fantasy

Throughout my life I have had fantasies. What girl doesn't? I've had dreams that never came true, and things I hope to be that never were. I fantasize. It is my downfall. The real world never seems good enough, and my fantasies grow less and less wonderful as I get older.
For once I wished my fantasies would come true, and come alive, but here I sit in a pool of tears. Not a single fantasy being reality.
I'm tired of chasing, I'm tired of not knowing what to do.
I should have ignored the voices in my head and stopped being so logical.
I got what I wanted but I cried because of it.
To those of you who read this who still fantasize. In my pain through reality I wish I could tell you to stop your fantasizing and get in touch with the real world, in the hopes of lessening your pain. I cannot though. My fantasies are my escape, even though their existence makes the return to the real world so hard, they are my times of bliss. Those fleeting moments where soma exists.
I got exactly what I had said I wanted. I cried for hours afterward.

It is not that I don't have faith in "us". Rather I do not have faith in me.