Today I Was Told To Write Something

So I did! As I have every day since he's been gone.
As written in a pastel colored striped notebook earlier today:

3:13
I haven't been inside a library for so long. It's so eerily quiet, and I've seen stairs! I think I'll find a quiet place up there.
3:17
Each and every corner has been filled, so I am forced to stay in the open. In my attempt at silently standing out, I didn't choose a place in the open. did you see what I did there? No? Well neither do I! The first three pages of this notebook were meant to go to Nikki, something I never got around to giving her. Rather then writing to her, now I write to you, my readers. Should I rather say lack thereof? There is something different in my handwriting rather then typing. In my thoughts and flow I mean. Perhaps because these are my exact thoughts word for word. I speak much differently then how I think don't I? Why am I in a library you ask? Well I'm at IVC, located two blocks from my mother's work, (as well as yogurtland) having failed at getting intot he General Chemistry class I had wanted to get into. Everyone was so tall!!! >-< But I have another plan. I can't take public speaking, or that will surpass my credit limit for the term (H.S. students are only allowed eleven). There is an earlier chemistry class I can also petition for thought I'd betition for both classes over and over again until I get into one. Am I not a genius? No? Well probably not. I still have fifty three minutes tuntil mom is out and can get me.
3:46
I took a really long time to make a lotus flower. Hunter is texting me. Apparently he is sitting in the dirt... Nothing from Peder. I miss Ryan. I can't wait until he's back. Maybe he adn I can even hang out before french starts. Now I feel like I have nothing of pertinence to write.
I just realized Ryan's task for me today was to write! I've written every single day since he left. What he wrote for me today was just precious! I know he's having fun though, and I am the least of his thoughts. I'm just hoping he's owrking out instead of eating too much and getting flabby, and getting tan instead of getting burned.
Isn't it just terrible when you are seperated from someone, who even though you aren't seperated yet and you know it's coming, you miss them so much already even if they're right there? the worst part is you know you're going to have fun anyway?! It drives me crazy, even though it makes me smile to thnk he's enjoying himself. Still. I can't help but imagine everythign that could go wrong from sunburn to sinking!

After that I stopped writing. Left my lotus flower on that obscure, but not obscure table on the second floor of the library. I went to wait for my mom to pick me up. I tried to do nothing again. For at least twenty minutes. Instead I started rubbing a leaf to the beat playing in my head instead of just lying there... I'm really bad at doing nothing.
I don't have anymore letters from him for the rest of the week.
I miss you. I love you. I can't wait until you're back, and even more back in my arms.