So here I am

Writing. Not that I know what I am writing about, or what I want to write about. There is so much going on all the time and I just can’t keep up with life. It’s always ‘this person against that person’ and ‘this person did this’ but ‘that person did that’ and things just get so confusing that it’s hard to know which way is up. And most of the time it’s nearly impossible to tell if the information you’re given is the whole truth or just something that has been passed along through the eyes of too many diluting it to something that is sort of, kind of, the truth but not really.

Then you get when things become so convoluted and somehow the different drama stories that you’ve been keeping up with this whole time start to become intertwined with one another. For example, I have two different friends, who like two different guys. Yet, these two different guys, both like the same girl. And she is one of those girls who goes on flirting with every guy she lays eyes on and leads them all on to think that they have a chance with her when really, she doesn’t want them. And in the process she’s hurting people and even though she KNOWS she’s hurting people she continues to do it anyway.

People come to me. All the time. And I listen. That’s easy enough. They start to ask me for advice and I must say, that’s a tad harder. I do my best, but I don’t know the secrets of the world, and I know nothing about guys. That’s what all these girls come to me about. Yet, I know nothing about this. I have no experience whatsoever. And while they all know this, they all seem to think that I know something that they don’t. As one girl so kindly pointed out when I tried to help her: I have no experience with anything like this anyway.

I do my best just trying to look at things from an objective point of view. So here I am, sitting, and hoping that the advice I am giving these girls is the right advice to give.

My life right now

Social time is fun.

School is easy to live through.

Food is good.

Music is the best.

My friends are amazing.

And guys suck.

That is all I have to say.

Guys just freaking suck.

(not all of them, I mean no offense to any good guys out there.)

Fairytales...

are lies. They lead children to believe that things that will never happen will. Sure, all these Disney movies are cute, and fun to watch, but they LIE. From the time that all the young are born, they learn and watch fairytale movies and hear fairytale stories. I may have to go out on a limb and say that it can be worse for girls than it is for boys. They show these little girls that 15 and 16 year olds can see a guy and they will fall in love and get married and they don't even have to say a paragraph's worth of dialogue to one another. (I say 15 and 16 because that's actually how old alot of them are.) It's not right. I see my little girl cousins talking about their "Prince Charming" that is waiting for them to grow up some and know that there is no such thing.

I see them believing these lies and even though I know that this won't happen, I have to play along because "it's nice to llet them have something to believe in" (or so the other females in my family say). Well, in my opinion, the only thing that's going to happen is that one day, they are going to wake up and realize that life just doesn't work that way, and they will be heart broken. They are going to realize that in real life, things don't just work out for you.

What are we teaching our children? Of course, all of these movies are adorable and must-sees, if you know better than to believe them, but how do you avoid children believing in things that just don't happen? It's not easy, but I guess I will have to wait and see...

My Friend

This is taken directly from my thoughts. I wonder if you'll ever actually read it. Though the other things I have planned to write here haven't actually been written, I am determined that this one will.

Dear Best Friend,
Yes, you are still the best friend I ever had. I miss you. And I know deep down,you miss me too, even if you are too prideful to admit it. I have been on my first retreat without you, and I do not think I want to do it again, but I will if I must. My friend, you have let yourself be led away from God. You have alowed yourself to be led away from His path for you, doing thing that would not make Him happy. I know you say you are a good Catholic girl, but dear friend, you have begun to cease following Him. He has led us to each other, and we allowed His will to be undone. Sure, you may argue that you have lots of friends that you can count on and rely on and you don't need me, but, answer to yourself honestly, is the true connection there? Can they really supplement everything? If your answer is yes, consider the following:
Can they finish your sentences?
Know your thoughts?
Know when you're hurting, even if they don't say anything?
Make up the same song you are, at the same time?
Are they always honest with you?
Do they go to church with you?
Will/Can they sing and dance with you?
If they do, is their voice a perfect match with yours?
Will they trust you, even if they can't trust themselves?
Were they ever called your hip-attachment, or vice-versa?
If they walk into a room, does everyone ask where you are, or vice-versa?
Even if it happened, could the question be answered?
Would people confuse you, even if you look nothing alike (even someone like Kim Scott, yes, it happened at the retreat)?
Would they overdose on pixie-stix with you?
Sit in the same chair as you?
Sleep in the same bed?
Climb a tree with you?
Would they save you from a car, or save themselves first?
Can you tell them anything, and they won't freak out (I did my best)?
Do they know where those scars came from?
Would they have waited for you for so long, or would they have become prideful or 'over it' saying they don't need you?
Did they bring you Latin that neither of you know, yet somehow knew?
Would they judge you when you told them something, or keep an open mind?
My friend, you and I both know that the list can continue on forever, but we don't have the time. It would take too long. My only hope is that you understand and do the right thing. May God bless you, now and for always.
Your Best Friend (still),
Me (who else?)
P.S. I still pray for you every night
P.S.S. I have so much to tell you!

More About Girls Of The Modern World

Well, i just got off the phone with my friend Erica Mills. The one i talked about in the last issue of what i'm going to start calling the local blogger. Well. I thought i might talk about more girls, give more examples of how different we are, yet, how we're still all the same.
Ok. I'm going to talk about karate first. We have Kristianna Marczeski. She's so great, we're like sisters. She's into rock, you know, just plain fun to be with. She has a total disliking for boys, she hates them all, even our friends.... i'll get to boys of the modern world sometime.... that should be interresting. Ok, now there's Katie Cicchettie, i don't really know when katie came into the picture, just that the three ofus are great friends. We accept each other i guess, at karate we can be ourselves, and if you can't accept us fine then. we kick ur butt at sparring class ! XD. then there's alexis, alexis is BOY CRAZY!!!! i swear... but there are those times whne she REALLY likes a guy... she can stick with him for years... really.... shopping you know, the classis stereo type of the modern girl, the thing about her is she's great at martial arts, she has a true talent for it really. just goes to show you shouldn't judge a book by its cover huh?there was a girl who used to go to karate with us... her though.. her you could read so easily... too much make up, couldn't hide all those zits though... she went out with my ex boyfriend, twice.... i made her life so hard... i tried so hard to scare her away from the dojo... that place is my home, i wouldn't want to lose that place. She spit in there, she defiled it..... she made fun of the art that i love..... i wanted her out and soon, so i took matters into my own hands, made everything so hard for her, you have no idea. She was gone now.... and she better not come back.
Ok, now lets get to school. First there's erica, who inspired me to write this second part! XD You see, erica had an interesting plot she made against tania, not the one i wrote in the last one, a different one. She poured almost an entire carton of apple juice in her backpack. the thing is i got kinda part of the backfire for that. tania and bree adams-wyche are both in my p.e. class. and theyr'e both near me, bree in front tania behind. they wouldn't stop trashing my friends. so i stand up for them like a good friend right? then they start smashing me up... not much to find though since i spent extra time getting ready that day to see isaac! XD i looked good that day! xD ok. now lets get talking about bree and tania there. both those girls are complete idiots. ok, bree is ok, she's in honours core with me. but i mean, a girl who wears shoes that are ducktaped together to p.e. cmon, can't get any stupider than that. jordan thompson.... jordans fun. a dancer you know, she's classic, smart hard worker... and great choice of friends! XD!!!!! there's chasely, she's pretty much the same, then katie, katie lexum, going out with one of my closest friends blake. she's great. you know, she has a past but we accept her, she's hyper like me... fun to be with... they're my friends what can i say?!!?!?!?
ok, to sum it all up we're all different, why can't we accept it? I accept peoples differences and i try to be nice... but thats how it works out. to those of you who can accept these things already, i commend you.

Girls Of The Modern World

Well. I'm not really sure why i post this... I think i'm going to start a weekly thing about parts of life, people my age usually don't think about. If you read these... send me a message talking about your view on it. I'd love to hear all about it.
Well. This week I'm going to talk about the females of our modern world. You know, the new generation. The generation me and my friends are part of. Out of all the girls i know... the majority are into clothing, one way or another. Some of the girls out there hate me too. Some love me like a sister. one is my sister! XD. and some just like me. Girls who hate me... i don't know why they do. maybe it's just because i'm different then them. oh well. Those girls are usually into the latest music, latest fasions... and some of them are dumb as rocks to tell you the truth... tania.. at least thats how i think you spell it. one time in class. "wait.. washington d.c. isn't in washington state?"
then my teacher said, or someone "no tania.... you just missed it by about the entire country" XD i was cracking up so much, but i held it in.... stayed quiet.... Some people just look for a way to ruin me, and sadly enough some of those people were my friends. The people who do like me though,are just as unique as i am in there own unique ways. take erica for example. she looks asian, she is asian, but she denies it, she's into rock, died her hair blonde, she's one of my best friends. My closest friends go to karate wiht me, kristianna marczeski, katie kicchetti. theyr'e great. we're all into rock. i'm more into modern, kris is more into the classics, and katie.. katie loves everything! XD we laugh at the strangest things. In that group i'm the oddball. They both have light skin and light hair. I have dark hair and dark skin.. i guess thats how it works out..... I have to sleep now... maybe i'll talk more about this in the future... goodnight and happy new year!
Girls of the modern world are all different i guess.....