Xavier

Dear X,

I don’t know how to tell you what I am trying to say. Heck, I don’t even know what I am trying to say. You know, you tell me that it’s not just me, but how do I know you aren’t just saying that to make me feel better? Yes, I second-guess and over think everything. I wonder these things most likely because I don’t believe something like this can happen to me. Then again, thinking about it, I guess even if it was both of us, it can’t. You are out wherever you are and I am here, wherever that is. I try to imagine what it will be like to see you again, but I can’t. When we talk you seem so sure about everything, that it will all be fine, but I don’t feel quite as confident. I worry. I don’t even know what I worry about, but I worry. Looking back on what I wrote, I think I convey a sad tone, but I am not sad. Just confused; then again, what in life isn’t confusing? I am not sure if you will read this, and maybe that’s why I put it on here, but if you do, don’t feel obligated to say anything to me about it. At least you will have read it. I think that I put this here because I am not sure I want to say any of this to you, but if I did, I wouldn’t want it to be at a time where it may seem that I am expecting you to say something, because I don’t. For lack of anything else to say, I guess I will end here.

Nichole :)

P.S. Again re-reading this, I realize that things I say can be understood the wrong way. I mean nothing bad, and I can’t wait to see you again. :)

P.S.S. Sometimes I wonder if you ever think about me at times when we aren't talking, but I don't want to ask you. ;)

P.S.S. I almost hope that you don't read this. It is probably better for the both of us if you end up not reading it.