My Darling Valentine

Do you remember that conversation we had that night? The one that made you cry...?
When I told you that I didn't trust you with how I felt because you had never hurt me before... and it was such a shock to me. I love you, but I didn't trust you. You cried that night, and pushed me away from you because you felt that you didn't deserve me. You cried, and we spent that night together, just the two of us, so that I could show you that I love you. That same night I realized that it would be okay to trust you again. Your remorse seemed so sincere... and I knew I could never be upset with you for long. I love you too much.
Do you remember our first valentine's day? We were hanging out by the pool after school, just relaxing and talking, lingering rather than walking home. Neither of us had valentines, and we were talking about it. You mentioned that you had never had a valentine before. I offered to be your Valentine. Your face lit up and you had me in a hug that was insanely long, tight, and uncomfortable.... I always laugh remembering that day. Every year after that we always had something special to say to each other on Valentine's day. This year? I sang you a song.
I'm sorry for daring to try to love another. I'm sorry for not simply sitting back and enjoying you. I dwelled in the past, and took that into the present thus making it dark and cold with the ghosts, rather than bright and happy like the love in our hearts. The love in my heart.
I gave you that bracelet, that wasn't finished, and you told me it was just like our story, unfinished. Our unfinished story.

I dedicated my song tonight to three types of people.

People who had never been sung a lullaby.
So that you would know that someone loves you. You are not alone. You don't have to build up walls and keep people out. I love you, will always love you, and I will always be here to comfort you when you need it.

People who like to believe that you can love someone forever in just one moment of time.
So that you would remember that moment in the movie theatre, that moment in the car, that moment in the park, that moment by the science building... all of our little moments and infinite amount of forevers.

and lastly...

People who know that even though you've finished a chapter, you still have the rest of the book to read.
So that I could have hope in the words that you yourself said: Our unfinished story. So many times I lose hope, than God reminds me about love and all of our happy times together, and I can smile again because he gives me back that hope. The you of the past gives me back the hope. Love. Your love gives me hope. It has for the past almost-four years, and it will continue to give me hope even when you're not around.

You said you've loved me for all of these years... I said I loved you too.
You said that you loved me even beyond the love of intimate friendship that I had for you and I brushed it off.
I don't believe that you've stopped loving me... I just believe you're hurt. We both are. I still love you though. I'm sorry that you have to feel pain. I would take it all away and carry it all myself if I could.

For you my darling valentine... You may not think you have one, or consider yourself mine, but you are my valentine. The person that I love despite all opposition... the person I love and cherish above all the rest. Happy Valentine's day. I love you, and I promised you I would always love you. You promised you would never forget.

I'll never forget you my valentine.
The one from freshman year, who was so excited and happy to have his first valentine.
The one from sophomore year, who was torn and confused but still willing to love me and let me love him.
The one from Junior year who listened to my stories of travel.
and most importantly the one from Senior year, who looked me in the eyes as we lay under the moon and stars in the dark of night and said, that he would always love me too.