Angry at the World

Tell me, who can't be angry at the world. You get so mad that you just want to sit on the floor and cry, but you know that you can't do that. You can't let people see you hurting. Even when your in the dark, people are watching you. When you think that you are alone, they are there, to see if you cry, to watch you hurt. We don't live in a perfect world, far from it. We live in a world were people will leave you without a second thought about it. But you can't do anything about it. No matter how angry or sad you get, nothing can change it. You can get so mad that you want to hit something, to break it, but you can't becasue then you'll start breaking things or hurting yourself. At times it can seem that the entire world is against you and no matter how hard you fight their hold on you, they just keep getting stronger and stronger. The darkness IS amazing. They can't see you, can't watch you while you suffer, all they hear is the slightest hint of a sniffle. That's when they pounce. They know that you can hurt, and they don't care why. All they care about is that you do hurt, that now they have something to make fun of you for. They don't bother to make you feel better, to pull you away from your depression.



So every day, you hide behind the same mask. The one that makes everyone think that you are always happy. That you hape no care in the world. It makes them all think that you are always happy, spazzy, and excited about something. That is all that you let them see. You don't let the hurt show, the sadness, the anger at the world. You bury it deep inside of you where no one will see it through the mask that you hide behind. That's the point. You can't let anyone see it. They can't know that you hurt, that you're not as strong as they think you are, that you hurt too. You sing sad songs, you sing to yourself, you tell no one of the impending doom you hurt, of the the walls caving in and the world coming down. You just want to take all the hurt away, but there is no way to do it. There is nothing that you can do that will take it all away. Nothing that you can do will make it all go away. So you continue. You continue letting people think that you're happy, that there is nothing wrong in your world.

I am lucky. I have a place where I can go. Where I can let go of everything, where I can break down. Where I can share my hurt. It's a place where you don't have to be afraid. You hurt to a point where you don't think that you can hurt anymore, then you leave, you leave for the weekend. Out into the middle of nowhere where you can hurt, and show it, you don't have to hide behind your mask. You can be free. Though some still refuse to let it go. To share, to feel, they make themselves numb to the world. It puts a lot of anger in them. To everything, though, that is hidden behind the mask too. I don't blame them, it happens to everyone, and no one can deny it.

It's hard not to be angry.
Angry at youre parents.
Angry at the school.
Angry at the government.
Angry at your life.
Angry at the world.

It's all inside and there is no way to get it out....
It has been inside for too long...