Every Kiss, Every Moment, Each and Every Glance

Smiling at each other...
shyly from across the room.
the first time that their eyes meet
and they look away quickly with a bashful smile
and rosy red cheeks
the first time their hands touch
just a moments stroke
but the beginning of a lifetime's many moments
the first time they speak to each other
two voices harmoniously joining
laughing with each other like bells
the first time their lips touch
an awkward moment for the both
but a smile from ear to ear
on both of their faces
when they finally part.
anger. frustration. sadness.
now all the author has to do is write the ending.
or can the charachters write this ending themselves?

Someday

i don't want the world to see who i really am... I don't want them to see the girl who cries herself to sleep at night... the one who cries over things hidden deep and pushed far to the back of her heart... I don't want them to know who i really am, what i really feel, what i really do think about... The world could never understand who i really am though... i wish i had someone who knew the real me. who knew what i really am. who i am after peeling away all the layers of lies. i want someoone to know who i am, and to love me as the vulnerable little child i really am
It hurts to think that other people can't understand though... But I am a strong independent young lady. I was raised with manners, and to be polilte, but because I live in the modern day, i am also strong. Everyone is afraid to let the world see who they really are, who they are when no one is looking. I want someone to see who I am when no one is looking, I want to be able to be the real paulina. Paulina who thinks differently then everyone else.
One day I will do amazing things, and the people who never understood me will wonder how I did it.
Truthfully, I will wonder as well.

My Perfect

I always thought i'd be ordinary
i never thought i'd be extraordinary
you make me feel as if i could fly
though night after night still i'd cry
then you kept telling me i was beautiful
making me feel more and more wonderful
still though i didn't believe in myself
shoved my heart to the back of that shelf
then you told me i was strong
that i have been all along
still in the back of my own little mind
courage was something that i couldn't find
and still you kept saying how smart i was
i'd laugh and show off and make all this fuss
but somehow i kept saying i knew
that if i was really smart i'd see things through
the most outrageous one was perfection
calling me perfect as if it were some common infection
the funny part is... at this point i started to give in
i'm just telling you now that you're about to win
I'm not beautiful, strong or perfect
sometimes i feel as if i had some defect
but you... you make me feel
as if all those things about me were real.
when i'm with you i feel beautiful
whispering in my ear that i'm wonderful
when i'm with you i feel strong
because i know that you've been there all along
when i'm with you i know i'm smart
because i chose to give you my heart
when i'm with you, it may not be everyone's perfect
but you know what?
it's mine.

Heart Beats

A simple string
on an every day instrument
to me thought
it is more
it makes a sound
reverbrating through my body
it sounds different dependoing on who plays
it is a beautiful melody
a song that single note
it's so hard to explain
but... the notes i play
continue through my soul
they are my heart beats.

My Purpose

i know i'm sourrounded by those i love
i am after all
the child of my parents
it's those people that i continue to live for
it's the love for them that keeps me
from flying from a cliff
even if depression
and melancholy sourrounds me
still i continue to smile
it's because of people like you
those who are there
who don't leave me or break my heart
there are few i loveand many who love me
but still few loves beats the many
because tis not quantity
but quality as they say
of the people who love me
and gladly enough
you are part of the few
so smile for me and i will smile for you

That Cursed Broken Heart

Question:
My insides are breaking...Then why am i waiting??
Torn between to lives of love
One you love
yet also hate.
It loves you... or so it says.
But is it you,or is it your shoe?
The other cannot be described,
but has not yet been perscribed.
Someone said a broken heart...
would sting at first,
then make you stronger.
why does the pain then remain??
Are we cursed to learn from a constant reminder?
or does it finally leave...and make us stronger?

My poem and reply:
listen my friend and listen well
for my tale is sad to tell
you fall in love, the world is right
but then you lose all sense and sight
your heart is shattered the pain is there
and you feel as if no one else cares
you thought you loved them,
but your world is gone
the things you do, really aren't fun
the pain remains, it may subside
but don't take it as reason to hide
it lives on in our memory, and everything we do
could make it come alive, i feel it to
i remember the way he used to stroke my hair
acting as if he really cared.
even if the memory lingers still...
and screams in our ears so loud and shrill.
we grow stronger with each passing day
as we move on our friends still stay
they stay to comfort us, and help us go strong
soon it won't be very long
until even if the memory is there
soon you won't even care
ofcourse it will hurt, daggers through your heart
but take it as a reason for a new start
because even if it never leaves, and seems to torture us so
this memory, this experience makes us want to go...
out into the world to experience new things.
making us stronger for what the world will bring

Freedom

i hate it when they scream...
get so mad they start to cry.
so heated. so angry...
so... against each other.
people that want to be together.
but yet they can be so mad at each other
so hateful.
so spiteful.
over stupid.
mortal.
earthly things.
like money. material things.
they're telling him to grow up
to learn to be an adult
telling him to earn their trust.
a point well made.
but. now i have to feel the backlash.
to be around them while they're upset
to hear their screams up close...
there's no where for me to hide...
no where for me to go...
this is why sometimes i want to die.
sometimes... death is the only escape.
but... then i would have to face the unkown
and unkown possibly worse than this...
what could be worse than this though...
hearing people who love each other so much...
say they miss each other
but.. still.. be so angry at each other... so...
so heated...
i wish i could find a place to hide...
or at least someone with comforting words...
i have a place to hide, but it's so very far away.
it would take me hours to walk.. but it might be worth it...
just to hide. to be alone
with my own thoughts. to try and forget.
but... still... i need someone to hear me.
to listen to my tears fall to the ground.
to hold me until i stop.
to tell me that everything is all right.
but now all i have is a faraway place to hide.
someday i'll escape. someday...
someday i'll be free.