... but she is a threat to me. I want so badly for you to be close with her in the way you want to be, but quite honestly it will tear me apart inside. I can't entirely explain why. I'm certain it's not entirely based on jealousy, I'm not quite so much of a hypocrite, although I'm certain there are hints of it here and there.
Maybe she does things for you that mean something to you, and all those wonderful things, but even Chase knows to never cross those lines with me again.
I saw the text message and somehow I already knew. I didn't need to be told it was her. You didn't need to nonchalantly in that round-about way of yours tell me that you've now memorized her phone number, and "inadvertently" tell me it was her.
Ditch me on Friday because "a friend" wants to have lunch. Why couldn't you just say it was her then? It would be easier than just avoiding all of it.
What bothers me the most is that it's as if you were forcing this. Working so hard at this, manipulating her in the way you know how to, and yet are so frustrated about how she manipulates you. You said your goodbye, and my heart felt lighter, because I thought you had come to a conclusion. When I asked you if you were sure that's what you wanted to do you were stubborn and said yes. Now that she's attempted to communicate again after you said you pushed her away for good, you state it was only to manipulate her into communicating with you?
I don't know why, but I'm confused and hurt by this. Give me a little time and it will fade. You won't talk to her and these thoughts and feelings will disappear until you decide to bring her up again. Perhaps you'll get what you want and have a relationship with her and I'll simply have to learn to live with it. Who knows what will happen.
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