Daggers.

I feels as if a knife was slowly pushed into my heart, then twisted hard then ripped out. I feel like crying. I can feel the tears, and my heart like a stone pulling me down. i want to sleep, to hide in the dark and never come out. I want night to never end. I want stars, cold air on my skin. I feel like my bones are ripped from my body. Yet I am holding myself up. Yet my eyes are dry. yet I am discussing transcendentalism. I am in so much pain, and yet I can keep it all in. I can breathe, live in the physical. Mentally I exist for what this horrendous system gives me. It's so odd on how I hate the system and yet I crave teh education, the knowledge. Emotionally I'm dying. I love, and yet the pain I feel so so constantly manifested by the sharp pain I feel in my shest. It's throbbed and stabs at me now for hours. I won't even make it go away. It is a reminder of my pain. A physical manifestation of what is occuring in my emotional sphere.

Ajourd'hui

Ajourd'hui. C'est mon anniversaire. C'est n'est pas speciale. C'est resemble tous le jours. Mais je sais ajourd'hui veuz etre speciale. Je suis triste, mais je peux etre joyeux. C'est mon anniversaire! J'ai seize ans! C'est un jour speciale. je parle avec Ryan en le matin. Il est magnificent. Il trouve mon bonheur. J'adore Ryan, mais c'est Chase qui j'aime. Oui? Qui suis-je? Je suis Mei. J'ai seize ans. J'aim orange. Ajourd'hui est mon anniversaire et mon amour est... Ryan ou Chase? J'adore Ryan, J'aime Chase. Je suis confondu. Ne ne peuz pas ecrit tous mon expressions en francais.